Monday, January 8, 2018

Where Am I Now?

Well, hello there! I can not believe it has been almost ten months since the last time I posted anything. Truth be told life got really crazy and I needed a break from a lot of things, this being one of those things.
So, I bet you are wondering "Where is she now?" What in the world has happened in these past ten months, and I'm here to fill you in on all the latest details...
2017 was a year of unknown adventures. I traveled the world with my best friends, making friends and memories that oceans and distance could never separate. Then bam.. graduation happened then COLLEGE. Oh college. Well that scares the hell out of me. Adulting? How could I possibly be at this stage in life? I've made it through my whole first semester of college and I feel more lost than ever. So, I'm going on this journey... Assessing my past semester of college and I'm going to blog it all here, being completely transparent allowing you to truly see my heart right now.
Here we go.....

Where AM I Now?

Right now I have a mixture of feelings going through me. Here is just a few: alone, excited, new, hopeful, inspired, lost, overwhelmed, worried, and slightly confident. 
My feelings change from day to day and at times I can't even keep up. 
What's On My Mind Right Now?
Well, Im wondering How did I get here? When did I allow the devil to get back into my mind again. HOW could I allow him to do so? Im thinking about the fact that tomorrow morning is the day I finally need to get back in the gym to created a healthier me because Im currently feeling very motivated, and to live life to the fullest.
What is the One Thing Im Excited about Right Now?
Im currently very excited about this next step to created a healthier and happier me. I just recently read this guys blog about not just becoming a better you for you but rather the future family you will have. And I can not for the life of me get that out of my head. I want to be the best I can be for my future husband and kids. To be able to keep up with them and COMPLETELY be there for them. 
What is the One thing you are Worried about Right Now?
Im slightly worried about going back to college because I did not give this past semester my fullest. I could have put so much more into my studies, but I allowed myself to get distracted and forget about the true reason behind my career choice. I want to do so much better in this upcoming semester to show that I can be the person god created me to be. 

Well, this is the last question of looking at my current situation and feelings. Ill be trying to daily keep updates of the next questions!

Thursday, March 9, 2017

The Cry of My Heart.

My heart has been so burdened lately. At times I want to scream or cry or maybe even both. For years  I have battled with depression and the thought of always being "alone," but these past few months have been different. I have learned more and more how to recognize the lies satan puts in my mind and more importantly I have learned how to combat them. This journey of learning how to do so has NOT been easy. It has taken discipline and a LOT of dependency on God. I have learned how to flood my mind with Truth, and how to quiet my mind. Ok, I know what you are thinking, "How do you quiet your mind?" Well, let me tell you... The first thing I do is ask God to clear my mind of all things except a verse that He wants me to ponder on. Then, I take that verse and in complete silence, in my head I repeat that verse over and over and over again, for however long I'm feeling to do so that day. Some. days it is 1 minute some days it is 5, but once you are ever able to fully quiet your mind, I promise, you will begin to crave it! 

I want to do something. I am so tired of constantly saying alright I'm going to do this or that, but never truly taking action. I will never forget the feeling I use to get every time I walked into the hospital when I was volunteering. It was almost like a rush. I loved it, and every day I walked into that hospital and surrounded myself with people who were going through things a million times worse than my own and it made me self evaluate. It blessed my heart and opened my eyes to a hurting world out there that are lost and in search for something more. The problem is that us christian are holding that something more to ourselves and not doing anything to allow others that same chance. Why are we doing so? Did God not tell us to GO and tell others, disciple others, teach others? We are to live everyday of our lives on a mission, in which most of us fail to do so. I will be honest and say, at times, I am guilty of this myself, but what if we no longer lived that way. What if we started a movement, where being a christian was the norm. Doing the right things and living for God was the norm.              Would not this life be, oh, so much greater?

A New Beginning 

Well, it has been forever since the last time I have updated, so I guess here it goes...

These past few weeks have been long and exhausting. Some days I just come home and crash. I have three months left of my senior year and I can hardly fathom the thought. God has blessed me with such amazing people to conquer my senior year with, and I can not wait to see where God leads each of us. I know He has amazing plans and purposes for each one. As I sit here having a moment of debriefing, I can't believe that in a few months I will be miles away, some even oceans away, from some of my closest friends. The idea baffles me every time I ponder on it. I begin to think on where God brought me from. I still can not believe He has called me to the mission field. I NEVER thought in a thousand years, I would end up fully surrendered to Christ, following His every move. 

In two weeks, I head to Pensacola, FL to visit the college I truly believe God is leading me to go to for the next four years. I am so excited and can not wait to see how God will use me there. Exactly one day after we arrive back from Pensacola, we will leave for NYC. I can not wait!!! Fourteen hour bus ride with my class should be very interesting... Then lastly, four days after we arrive back from New York, the Bulgaria mission team will head out for Bulgaria! I will be on that plane. I WILL ACTUALLY BE ON THAT PLANE... I still can not believe that every little detail God worked out and I watched Him work in a way I never thought was possible. He provided me with double of the expenses I needed to go, and now I am able to help buy some much needed items for the missionaries in Bulgaria. I want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who financially gave and those of you who prayed and are continuing to pray! You will never know how much your willingness to give has blessed me beyond measures. You allowed God to use YOU for a higher purpose, and for that you will be rewarded for that generous heart, one day! A piece of you will be left in Bulgaria as well. How exciting is that? 

Once again thank you all so much, and I ask you to still continue to be in prayer for our team. We need it! 


Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Mountains Being Moved.

Bulgaria  Meeting Update

Hey hey hey! It seems like forever since the last time I was able to make an update, but I'm so excited to fill you all in with the latest news of our trip!

"Serving is a powerful thing. God wants to bless you, but He also want to be a blessing through you."

Today, we started off our meeting in Gen. 45:3-8. Our leader explained to us the power of making everything about God and not self. "Adversity screams what one believes about God. It screams ones theology." With this trip this a lesson we must all learn to come face-to-face with. Each and every one of us must learn to rely on God with every once of our soul, and no longer depend on self, and when we do so we will, through God, begin to MOVE MOUNTAINS.

The first part of my exciting news is that OUR AIRLINE TICKETS ARE BEING PURCHASED THIS WEEK! Woohoo! 
Things are truly becoming real you guys.

The next things I want to announce to you all is our dinner theatre night! I'm so excited to see how God is going to work through this night, but first here are some things you need to know:

Date & Time: March 10th and 11th @ 7:00 PM
Price: $10.00 per person which includes- steak, baked potato, salad, desert, and a show. (What a deal           right?)
Purpose: To help send a group of teenagers who have been called to Bulgaria to share the Word of God.

The last exciting news I have for you all is on how all of our plans in Bulgaria are coming together. Mrs. Lydia, the lady who is from and a missionary in Bulgaria, had a meeting this past week with the 9 Bulgarian students that each one of us American students will be paired with and it went really  well.  The parents are on board and we can not wait for this cross-cultural experiment with relationship building. It will definitely a memory I will NEVER forget. 

I also want to ask every one of you who are reading this to continually be in prayer for our team. Pray over the students there that we will be working with and also pray for the match up of each student. Continue to pray for the Autreys with Mrs. Lydias father passing and the many other things they are currently going through, and a huge prayer request for our dinner theatre night. It will be a busy and long next couple of months, but with your prayers and Gods help I know we can get through this!

Thanks for reading and praying. Love you all!!!

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Are You a Pharisee?

Quick Bulgaria Update:

I am so excited to announce that our dates and flights have been locked in! We are leaving April 14th @ 5:00 PM from RDU. We will be flying for about 8 hours then stop in London for a 2 hour layover. We will then fly to Sofia and then drive for about 3 hours to get to Svishtov, Bulgaria. We will be flying American and British airlines, which aloud us to drop our flight price from $1400 to $1250. We will come back to America on the 24th having a 2 hour layover in Paris and then home! God has already started a mighty work in our team, and we have already had the chance to see Him do some amazing things already!

Are you a Pharisee?
Mark 3:1
1And he entered again into the synagogue; and there was a man there which had a withered hand. 2And they watched him, whether he would heal him on the sabbath day; that they might accuse him. 3And he saith unto the man which had the withered hand, Stand forth. 4And he saith unto them, Is it lawful to do good on the sabbath days, or to do evil? to save life, or to kill? But they held their peace. 5And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other. 6And the Pharisees went forth, and straightway took counsel with the Herodians against him, how they might destroy him.

3 ways to know if you are a Pharisee 
1. You come to church to watch instead of worship.
2. When you could say something positive to help, you stay silent.
3. When it's all said and done, you did something, but then you huddle and talk, later. 

God was speaking to the people of the church in this passage, and He's still speaking to the church through this passage today. Way to many "Christians" sit around doing nothing because it's "not their problem", but you see it is. When one of your brothers and sisters in Christ are hurting and are in need of help, you should be hurting and right there to help. 
So my question for you is are you a Pharisee? Do you sit around doing nothing, when other need your help? 

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Bulgaria Update

Well, we just had our fourth Bulgaria meeting and things are going swell. As of right now most of us are about a quarter of the way to paying for our trip, and we have only had one fundraiser. So to God be the glory for that. We received information that the  price for our plane tickets may be able to go down a little, which would be absolutely amazing! Most, if not all of us, have gotten our passports already. ( I've sent mine in just waiting for it to return.) 
A Special Prayer
Mrs. Lydia, the lady that is a missionary there in Bulgaria, father passed away this past week. I would really appreciate it if you could keep her and her family in your prayers, but most importantly, that through her fathers funeral God was able to speak to the people of Bulgaria. They need the hope of the Gospel more than anything in this world. I was reading something that was sent to me about the people there, and it said that they love to mourn. They even have competitions to see who can mourn the best. Sad right? I just really hope and pray that there is a movement and work of God already being done in Bulgaria, while we wait, as a team, for the time where we get to continue planting the seed. I can't wait to see all the amazing things God is going to do through this trip: to all the people we come in contact with there, and also in my team and I's heart. I feel an army rising and growing and I can not wait to see God move!

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Jesus I come !

I found myself weak this afternoon. You know how sometimes you are talking to God, but it feels as if your prayers are hitting the ceiling  and you can't even comprehend what you are reading in the Word. Well that was me tonight. A complete mess wondering why my God was not speaking to me and this song comes on and reminds me of His perfect, unconditional love. Whew AMEN. My night is now made!

"Jesus I Come"

Oh how I need Your grace
More than my words can say
Jesus I come Jesus I come
In all my weaknesses
You are my confidence
Jesus I come Jesus I come

I will rise stand redeemed
Heaven open over me
To Your name eternally
Endless glory I will bring (oh)

Oh what amazing love
We need Your cleansing flood
Jesus I come Jesus I come
In every broken place
You are my righteousness
Jesus I come Jesus I come

Thank You Jesus
Just as I am I come
Oh what amazing love