Thursday, March 9, 2017

The Cry of My Heart.

My heart has been so burdened lately. At times I want to scream or cry or maybe even both. For years  I have battled with depression and the thought of always being "alone," but these past few months have been different. I have learned more and more how to recognize the lies satan puts in my mind and more importantly I have learned how to combat them. This journey of learning how to do so has NOT been easy. It has taken discipline and a LOT of dependency on God. I have learned how to flood my mind with Truth, and how to quiet my mind. Ok, I know what you are thinking, "How do you quiet your mind?" Well, let me tell you... The first thing I do is ask God to clear my mind of all things except a verse that He wants me to ponder on. Then, I take that verse and in complete silence, in my head I repeat that verse over and over and over again, for however long I'm feeling to do so that day. Some. days it is 1 minute some days it is 5, but once you are ever able to fully quiet your mind, I promise, you will begin to crave it! 

I want to do something. I am so tired of constantly saying alright I'm going to do this or that, but never truly taking action. I will never forget the feeling I use to get every time I walked into the hospital when I was volunteering. It was almost like a rush. I loved it, and every day I walked into that hospital and surrounded myself with people who were going through things a million times worse than my own and it made me self evaluate. It blessed my heart and opened my eyes to a hurting world out there that are lost and in search for something more. The problem is that us christian are holding that something more to ourselves and not doing anything to allow others that same chance. Why are we doing so? Did God not tell us to GO and tell others, disciple others, teach others? We are to live everyday of our lives on a mission, in which most of us fail to do so. I will be honest and say, at times, I am guilty of this myself, but what if we no longer lived that way. What if we started a movement, where being a christian was the norm. Doing the right things and living for God was the norm.              Would not this life be, oh, so much greater?

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