The Cry of My Heart.

My heart has been so burdened lately. At times I want to scream or cry or maybe even both. For years  I have battled with depression and the thought of always being "alone," but these past few months have been different. I have learned more and more how to recognize the lies satan puts in my mind and more importantly I have learned how to combat them. This journey of learning how to do so has NOT been easy. It has taken discipline and a LOT of dependency on God. I have learned how to flood my mind with Truth, and how to quiet my mind. Ok, I know what you are thinking, "How do you quiet your mind?" Well, let me tell you... The first thing I do is ask God to clear my mind of all things except a verse that He wants me to ponder on. Then, I take that verse and in complete silence, in my head I repeat that verse over and over and over again, for however long I'm feeling to do so that day. Some. days it is 1 minute some days it is 5, but once you are ever able to fully quiet your mind, I promise, you will begin to crave it! 

I want to do something. I am so tired of constantly saying alright I'm going to do this or that, but never truly taking action. I will never forget the feeling I use to get every time I walked into the hospital when I was volunteering. It was almost like a rush. I loved it, and every day I walked into that hospital and surrounded myself with people who were going through things a million times worse than my own and it made me self evaluate. It blessed my heart and opened my eyes to a hurting world out there that are lost and in search for something more. The problem is that us christian are holding that something more to ourselves and not doing anything to allow others that same chance. Why are we doing so? Did God not tell us to GO and tell others, disciple others, teach others? We are to live everyday of our lives on a mission, in which most of us fail to do so. I will be honest and say, at times, I am guilty of this myself, but what if we no longer lived that way. What if we started a movement, where being a christian was the norm. Doing the right things and living for God was the norm.              Would not this life be, oh, so much greater?

A New Beginning 

Well, it has been forever since the last time I have updated, so I guess here it goes...

These past few weeks have been long and exhausting. Some days I just come home and crash. I have three months left of my senior year and I can hardly fathom the thought. God has blessed me with such amazing people to conquer my senior year with, and I can not wait to see where God leads each of us. I know He has amazing plans and purposes for each one. As I sit here having a moment of debriefing, I can't believe that in a few months I will be miles away, some even oceans away, from some of my closest friends. The idea baffles me every time I ponder on it. I begin to think on where God brought me from. I still can not believe He has called me to the mission field. I NEVER thought in a thousand years, I would end up fully surrendered to Christ, following His every move. 

In two weeks, I head to Pensacola, FL to visit the college I truly believe God is leading me to go to for the next four years. I am so excited and can not wait to see how God will use me there. Exactly one day after we arrive back from Pensacola, we will leave for NYC. I can not wait!!! Fourteen hour bus ride with my class should be very interesting... Then lastly, four days after we arrive back from New York, the Bulgaria mission team will head out for Bulgaria! I will be on that plane. I WILL ACTUALLY BE ON THAT PLANE... I still can not believe that every little detail God worked out and I watched Him work in a way I never thought was possible. He provided me with double of the expenses I needed to go, and now I am able to help buy some much needed items for the missionaries in Bulgaria. I want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who financially gave and those of you who prayed and are continuing to pray! You will never know how much your willingness to give has blessed me beyond measures. You allowed God to use YOU for a higher purpose, and for that you will be rewarded for that generous heart, one day! A piece of you will be left in Bulgaria as well. How exciting is that? 

Once again thank you all so much, and I ask you to still continue to be in prayer for our team. We need it! 

Love,

Michaela...